Wondering if things are actually "normal"

You know I think outside the box... I am creative and have ideas that are constantly swirling around in my head. This is one reason I love blogging- typing in those swirling ideas... and this week this has been swirling...

We hear when a mom in labor "stalls" at 6cm for hours that her labor is "stalled." That something must be wrong. That someone needs to intervene. That perhaps she is having some type of "dystocia." But why is that not a normal labor for her. If we are individuals- and we each have individuals growing inside of us- and our bodies are each unique...then why must this particular woman have a labor that can be "charted" and determined to be off the "normal" curve?

My oldest daughter takes a nap before she begins to push her babies out. Every labor has been this way- 3x. She rests before she begins the process of pushing her baby out. No one told her to do that. No one was afraid that her labor had "stalled".  We accept this as "Julie's way."

I had a mom recently "stall" at 6cm and she said she was tired and wanted to take a nap. I suggested that she listen to her body. She went on to have a cesarean birth, but only after several hours proved that this baby was not moving down and out of her body. But had it?

I think of that indigenous woman in the woods... does anyone know how long she has been 6cm? Does she become exhausted and rests before she births? Does anyone discuss the need for fluids? Pitocin? An epidural? Of a cesarean birth?

What is normal? It certainly would be an insult to me if someone labeled me such! But we are treated as if we need to be "fixed" if our labors are not such. But who decided what "normal" was? I think there are two questions one must ask before intervention is used... "Is my baby okay? Am I okay?" And the answer can not be "for now, but who knows in an hour," because they did not know an hour ago how you were going to be right now either.

We do need to look at the environment- the support- the preparation.Sure if she does not feel safe, supported or is full of fear it can cause her labor to "stall." But eventually she has to surrender. It may take days. She may be exhausted. She may need to become exhausted in order to surrender. That may be her "normal."

I am going to quit using words like "stalled" labor or "abnormal" labor. I am going to trust birth. I am going to trust womens' bodies.I am going to try to instill confidence and courage in women more each day.

I love being a bit off the grid- a unique woman. I love that my youngest daughter told me last month that I seem to be constantly reinventing myself. That is a compliment. Who wants to stay the same- stagnant? I want to not be normal. And I will support unique women with unique labors and only see them as their labors...