Informed: Not Bamboozled

I was thinking about the role of a doula today. Sometimes folks say they want a doula to "protect" them or "intervene on their behalf" or "advocate" for them or "play interference with the staff".

I am not sure that is the real role a doula needs to have at a birth. Ideally you have met with your doula and given her an idea of the birth ideals you have. What you feel strongly about and those things you are more flexible about allowing to unfold within the journey of your birth. She also can help you to explore some ideas you may not have considered yet for your birth dreams.

But in the labor itself, her job is to support you. If you feel the need to be protected- you are probably not in the right location and have not chosen the right folks to be at your birth. If you need her to intervene for you, I wonder where your voice is during your labor- and did you communicate your desires beforehand to the support team you have? Yes things may change along the way- and she can help you communicate the changes if they occur- but intervention on your behalf is edging on speaking for you and that may be a bit dis-empowering to you. She may help you to communicate your thoughts at times you are unable to do so clearly- but a doula must be careful to not speak for the woman because it may not be accurate to what the woman feels and it is can be construed as overstepping her bounds and making your decisions for you. This is where advocating for a woman gets a bit tricky. I have written about this before. I advocate by reminding the mom of her options- reminding her of her original birth ideals- helping her to formulate her questions in order to get the answers she seeks and supporting her in her decisions.

I feel my job is to support- to offer encouragement and ideas to help facilitate the kind of birth outcome she desires. My job is to make sure she is getting the information she needs to make the right decisions for her.

Recently I had a mom make a decision in her labor to move forward with a cesarean birth. Whether I agreed with her decision or not was not important. Whether I would have done the same thing was inconsequential to her making her decision. What I want to walk away knowing is that she made this decision by gathering information and assessing in her situation if that is what she wanted to do. I want to make sure she has been given options and then been able to determine what is the right thing for her. My job is to try to make sure she is not bamboozled or bullied or driven by fear that has been pushed on her in making this decision.

I feel that the role of the doula is that of support- not second guessing or berating the mom herself by in not agreeing with the mom doing her own bamboozling of the mom. If she has been able to make good decisions all along, what makes us think given the space, opportunity and information, she is unable to make good decisions now?